


Wished It Worked

by VeiledPrincess



Series: Tumblr Prompt Box [2]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Angst with a sad ending, Apologies, Flashbacks, Future Fic, M/M, Post 6x01, Time Skips, Tumblr Prompt, refernce to 3x06
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-30
Updated: 2016-11-30
Packaged: 2018-09-03 08:34:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8705251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VeiledPrincess/pseuds/VeiledPrincess
Summary: Based off the Tumblr prompt: Post 6x01, Ian's boyfriend says that he loves Ian and Ian is flooded with memories of Mickey. Ian breaks up with his boyfriend and goes to the prison to talk to Mickey only to hear he's not in jail, Svetlana and Yev nowhere to be found, and goes searching for him. Months later he finds Mickey, goes to him certain of having him back only to find out he's married.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hope y'all enjoy this. Kinda like this non-happy ending thing, might do it more often.
> 
> The request almost mentioned Mickey and Ian's boyfriend not being assholes and that Mickey was married to Barry Allen, fyi.

_“I love you.”_ The words echoed in Ian’s head as if they’re on replay. Which, to be fair, they probably were. Ian hasn’t heard those words in this context since Mickey and to hear them now, it just didn’t feel right. Guess that’s why Ian is currently watching his _ex_ -boyfriend – Josh – pack up what little he had in Ian’s apartment. It’s been weeks since Josh had said those words and since Ian couldn’t return them, even though it’s been a year since they’ve started dating. Even longer since his ex-con ex-boyfriend stopped involuntarily popping up in his head and twice as long since he’s seen said ex-boyfriend.

 

Maybe a month later, that’s when Ian decided to grow some balls and see Mickey in prison. Thinks it would be nice to talk to him again – even through phones – and see him again – even through shatterproof Plexiglas – without having to pretend it’s a chore and needing to be paid to do so. He hopes it’ll come as a good surprise to the older man to see him there alone and voluntarily. But when it’s time to go through the standard security checks he gets the bigger surprise.

 

“Excuse me sir, that inmate is no longer here,” a security lady told him as he gaped at her, stunned into silence.

 

“It hasn’t been eight years yet. When did he get released?” Ian asked, shoving his hands into his pants’ pockets and rocking on his heels.

 

“Been released since June,” the lady responded, giving Ian an unreadable look on her face.

 

When Ian heard that he could feel his eyes widen, June was _five months_ ago. He hasn’t heard from Mickey, _why hasn’t he heard from Mickey_? Then, once Ian really thought about it, _why would he hear from Mickey_? Last time he’s seen the black haired man he broke up with him – again – and told him he was paid to see him. Just thinking of it causes Ian to wince, taking a deep breath he nodded before exiting the check-in station of the prison.

 

Sitting on the El, Ian thought about where he went wrong. He could start when he was first diagnosed with Bipolar disorder but in reality it was before that. It started when he kept pushing Mickey, he pushed for too much to fast knowing the other boy – man now – wasn’t ready. He knew how the other man had lived before Ian came along and he still pushed. Ian’s eyes closed as memories overwhelmed him.

 

_“What are you hoping? I tell you not to go?” Mickey had asked and truth of the matter is, that’s exactly what Ian had been hoping. After the mess of Terry and Svetlana he had needed reassurance and when Mickey continuously denied him of that he got angry. Even though he knew Mickey wasn’t the best of talking through and out his feelings, he still showed it, but now Ian wanted to **hear** it. “Think I’m going to chase after you like some bitch?”_

_“Didn’t come here for you,” Ian had said and he had immediately regretted the words. He did come here for him and he knew it probably showed, but he could still pretend. Could still pretend his mind was made up and that he wasn’t looking for Mickey to chase after him and change it._

_“Don’t -,” Mickey’s broken voice came from behind him, he had stopped in his tracks. Had even turned around and waited for a second, holding his breath for a second – hoping beyond hope that Mickey would actually be able to do this. He waited, wanting to hear what else the other boy wanted to say._

_When it became clear he wasn’t going to say anything else, Ian prompted him, “Don’t what?”_

_“Just don’t.” Mickey could barely squeeze the words out pass his throat, Ian had saw the effort and still scoffed. The redhead had barely turned the corner when he heard the stifled sniffs, he wanted to go back but Mandy was there. Mandy was at Mickey’s door calling him a dumbass, and Ian wanted to say something but he couldn’t – he wanted Mickey to stop him. No one but Mickey._

 

Ian felt his eyes watering, while that’s not the moment everything went wrong, it is the moment where it became obvious that it was his fault. He pushed too far for Mickey to express himself in words, while he knew the older boy was trying. Ian had saw the changes in the older boy and kept pushing, kept being greedy.

 

It’s been weeks since he had tried to visit Mickey at the prison and found out he’s been released. Since that day he’s been searching for Svetlana, Yev, or Mickey – though it seems like it’s becoming an impossible task. When he isn’t looking for the trio he was either thinking about Josh or trying to justify his actions to his family. He knew they were worried – thought he was going into a manic phase – but he wasn’t 15 anymore, wasn’t even 17 anymore. He was 23 years old and stable on his meds for years, he knew what he was doing and didn’t need his family telling him otherwise.

 

Of course it never crossed his mind that Mickey might’ve moved on. Why should it, when last he’s seen the black haired man he had a chest tattoo of his last name – spelled wrong, but that wasn’t the point. The tattoo was over his heart, which was like Mickey’s way of saying _forever_ , and though Ian won’t acknowledge it to himself – or anyone else – he had thrown that forever back in Mickey’s face. But Mickey had to know that it was _forever_ for Ian too, though he didn’t promise it that day back in the prison.

 

Walking through his old childhood home, his mind flashed through all the memories of this place he had. Broken out of it by Liam running up to him and wrapping around his right leg. In the living room was Carl, Debbie, Gemma, and Amy and in the kitchen was Kev, Vee, Fiona, and Lip – which is where Ian was headed as he picked up Liam.

 

“Hey Fi, Vee, Kev, and Lip,” Ian greets as he sits Liam down and sticks his head into the fridge for something to drink. Pulling out the orange juice carton, he drunk right out of it turning around to face everyone. “Anybody heard anything about Svet or Yev?”

 

Ian had asked them to see if they could find out anything about the two. Lip and Fiona both shrugged while Kev and Vee exchanged a look. It was a full minute before Vee spoke, “Svet and Yev left two years ago. They still visited Mickey up until he was released – if the guys in the Alibi can be trusted.” Kev shrugged and Ian gave a small smile.

 

“Thanks. Anything on Mandy?”

 

This time Lip answered, “Spoke to Iggy and Mandy. They both said he went to Ohio once he got out.”

 

“They say where?”

 

“Nah man, but I got a number from Mandy for you,” Lip told Ian.

 

Ian knew his family thought this wasn’t healthy for him. For him to visit his past and try to get Mickey to forgive him. They didn’t know the full story, didn’t understand how he had fucked everything up with Mickey and how he’d probably have to get down on his hands and knees and beg. But he didn’t know how to explain this to his family so instead he keeps his mouth shut and just gets the number.

 

Its eight weeks, two months, sixty days since he’s got the number from Lip. He’s been trying to grow the balls to call but he can’t, he’s scared. Terrified even. He doesn’t know what he’ll say. Hell he doesn’t even know what he’s thinking right now. His mind is a jumbled mess and he’s trying to sort out all his thoughts. All the redhead wants is to apologize, be forgiven, and start his life with Mick but he knows that’s kind of far-fetched. Doesn’t stop him from wishing though.

 

It’s another four weeks before he has the nerve to dial the number on his cell phone. Palms sweating and leg bouncing he hears the ringing in his ear as he holds his breath.

 

“Hello?” At the sound of Mickey’s voice, Ian released the air he was holding.

 

“Hey Mick,” Ian said. He didn’t really know what else to say. What do you say to your ex-boyfriend whose heart you broke that you now want back?

 

“Gallagher?” Ian could hear the disbelief. “The fuck you calling for? How the fuck you get this number?”

 

“Mandy.” The name tells Mickey everything except the most important.

 

“Fucking bitch. The fuck you calling for?” Mickey asked again.

 

“Wanted to apologize. Tried to visit you in November, was told you was released in June. Why didn’t you call?” Too late, the last question slipped out of Ian’s mouth and he honestly didn’t want to hear Mickey’s answer.

 

“To say what Gallagher? Told you once, I wasn’t chasing after you like some bitch. You broke up with me man, why would I call?” Ian shrugged, _why would he call_? He asked himself this same question every day. It ran though his mind on replay like Josh’s “I love you” does.

 

“I don’t know,” Ian told him truthfully. He was a fuck up – that was the Gallagher way and the curse. Whenever they had something good going they fucked up – Lip and Mandy was a good example but then again so was Ian and Josh or Ian and Mickey.

 

“You can’t just call like this man, need to move on,” he heard Mickey say. “Need to let go, been years and you dumped me. I moved on, you need to too.” At that point Mickey’s words became white noise to Ian.

 

“Is he good?” Ian heard himself asking, “Does he treat you good? You happy?” His voice broke but he fought to keep his tears down, he cleared his throat and waited.

 

“Yeah. He does and I am,” Mickey spoke softly, almost as if he didn’t want Ian to hear.

 

“What’s his name?”

 

“Barry.” Ian almost teased him over the name but decided not to, “What about you?”

 

“Guy named Josh, ended it. Didn’t feel right,” Ian couldn’t tell Mickey that it was because of him, couldn’t do that to Mickey no matter how much he wanted to. “Guess I’ll let you go. Just wanted to tell you, wish we could’ve worked out.”

 

“So do I fire crotch,” Mickey said before handing up.

 

_“I’m worried about you… I love you.”_

_“Ian, what you and I have makes me **free**.”_

**Author's Note:**

> I kinda changed this prompt a bit to fit, so I hope they still liked it.
> 
> Send in your requests at spencerreidsfuturewife.tumblr.com!


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